Like love exists
by capricorn goddess
Summary: Hi my name is Hermione Granger and i do not beleive in love. Join Hermione in her own internet diary and see how maybe there is a fate stronger than our own and maybe love really does exist
1. Default Chapter

INTERNET DIARY! PLEASE KEEP OUT!  
  
I thought I told you to keep out  
  
You're still reading  
  
Stop reading  
  
Come on  
  
STOP  
  
Well since you are still reading I guess I should introduce myself. My  
name is Hermione Ann Granger and I do not believe in love. And I am a witch. No I do not have a green nose and warts but sometimes I wish I did.  
Then maybe somebody would notice me. My best friends Harry and Ron are great. We laugh together and talk but sometimes I wish that I had never found out about Ron's crush on me in 5th year. For the past year I have been insanely trying to not lead him on but somehow he still thinks there is hope. Ha! I know that that's mean but really, he is so Lavender's man. See everyone in our little clique has a guy who is off limits to everyone  
else (a girl needs friends of the same gender right?). If you disobey  
those rules then you are out of the clique. Simple as that. Well way wrong. See Pavati has her eye on Harry, Lavender Ron, and Ginny, I can't believe I am typing this name. I promised myself that this person would never take up space in this diary but I guess I have to. I could always go back and erase it but then that would take a lot of time. Oh well I might as well type it in. Ginny likes Draco Malfoy. Yes the spawn of Satan. How I still have to figure out. I mean really was she abducted by pod people or on crack or maybe she belongs in St. Mungos. I really do have to figure out what is wrong with the girl. If she was abducted by pod people, she  
would not agree to sleepovers or still be getting bad grades on her O.W.L.S. I think we can rule out being on crack too because I know Ginny is a smart, kind person who would at least share with her best friend. So it must be the third option. I am going to have to write St. Mungos and request a restraining order or at least that they keep all residents safely behind bars where they can not ask their friends to do deluded things for  
them and I quote, "In the name of love." Really! As if love really exists. I have never found anyone in true love except for Romeo and Juliet  
and as far as I'm concerned if that isn't proof I don't know what is.. Just look at the prime example of Romeo and Juliet. I mean they both died. If love makes you do crazy things like that then I want no part in it. So anyway the deluded crazy thing that Ginny made me do today was ask Draco Malfoy if he needed help in Charms. He really did look pathetic today when he couldn't get that flying book charm but still. I really don't get how my tutoring Draco Malfoy is going to help him realize that he is "madly" and "phycoticly" in love with Ginny Weasely. She says that is the perfect way for him to see how great she is and blah blah blah. So I agree to do the stupid task and tutor Draco Malfoy even though he spits down my throat and says no. I am so stupid! Proffesor Flitwick said it was an excellent way  
to learn so he says we meet every other day in the charms classroom to practice what he taught us. So according to Ginny this is the perfect plan  
Too bad that most great plans go horribley wrong.  
  
So what do you think? Thoughts, comment, flames? Tell me in a review. The real chapter is coming but that was just a heads up to tell you what this story is about. BTW Draco has a diary too so we will definitely get his  
point of view. Hope you enjoy. 


	2. tutoring the enemy in unexpected territo...

Internet Diary  
  
Chappie two  
  
Tell me what you think about it and I hope you enjoy. Just to clear a few things up I share this account with my cousin, Envy who wrote Midnight Pool. I am a completely different person but I have been told that we have similar writing styles but I just can't see it at all. The profile page is hers as well not mine. She is a lucky bitch cuz her boyfriend's name is Jarrett and I have a huge crush on a Jarret. I always thought that this was a little ironic and just to tell you Envy that was my original name and if you ever break up with your Jarrett, he is mine. Although I bet he will ask you to marry him you two are so in love, IT'S SICK! (Just kidding Env) Even for me the fluff queen! I really hope I get as many reviews as her cuz she has so many. I originally had another story up here and it was called Love or Something like it but Envy thought it was too fluffy so she took it down. It was only up for two weeks and I already had twenty reviews. I also helped Envy with some her chappies on midnight pool and she has not given me any credit at all. Wait until I get her on Sunday!(j/k) Her best friend's name is Alice who is Chinese and Spanish and Russian which is a weird combo but she is really awesome and her boyfriend Mark is really cool as well. Hope you like the work that is MINE not my evil cousin Envy's. I really admire her and feel that she is a great role model. * ~*@*JULI*@*~* Okay just to clear a few things up. One I do know how to space but I forgot I was writing it in center format. Two this IS a HERMIONE and DRACO pairing. NOT a GINNY. But I tried to make a little bit deeper. More than just a love story maybe just a little bit of deceit and jealousy and definitely fluff. So review. I can't believe I have five reviews already thanx a bunch and if you like this go and read midnight pool by my cous Envy. I know its rated r but it's not that bad. Oh and this is just her diary. She isn't posting it anywhere where muggles are going to see it so she can say that she is a witch.  
  
It has been five hours since I lost all sanity and tutored Draco Malfoy. It did not go the way I planned. He is so selfish and arrogant to boot. Honestly I cannot believe what a jackass he is. I want to pretend that this night never happened and I wasn't even to record this but I can't sleep. Maybe calling him a bastard will make me feel better........ It usually does. But I can't. Not after tonight. I thought I told you to stop reading. I guess you want to know what happened, don't you? All right I'll spill but I'm not even sure myself what this means.  
  
I walked into the charms classroom and found Draco Malfoy leaning against the chalkboard lazily. I walked in briskly and stated to explain the charm at once. The less we spoke to each other the better. He rudely interrupted me. "Granger I understand the damn charm. I just didn't feel like acting all show offie in front of everybody. Besides I have much better thing to do with my time." He stood up straight to leave when I noticed how tall he was. A good 7 inches over my 5 foot 6 inched frame. "You can't leave." I said, "Professor Flitwick will have your ass."  
  
"That's what you think Granger."  
  
And then he walked out of the room. I couldn't let him have the last word so I ran after him. Later I realized that that was exactly what he wanted me to do. As I said the best laid plans go horribly wrong. I ran after him and turned him around. "What the hell is your problem." I hissed.  
  
"You" he said and put me up against the wall in the corridor where we were standing. I grabbed onto a candleholder to keep myself from being at the complete mercy of Draco Malfoy. Suddenly the wall opened up and we were thrown inside. The second we were in the room the door shut quickly behind us. "Shit shit shit!" I heard Malfoy mumble. He threw himself against the wall while I surveyed our surroundings. Candlelight and the ceilings dimly lighted the room and there were high windows that allowed the beautiful moonlight to pore in. Stars twinkled above our heads and I was lost in the beauty of it all. It seemed to romantic to be real. If only I wasn't sharing this with Draco Malfoy. He sat down on the bed and I sat down next to him. "Can we get out?" I asked after what felt like a year of silence.  
  
"what do you think?" he snapped "If we could do you really think I would spend my time in here with you, mudblood" Now I was pissed. Not because he snapped at me but because he had some nerve to be all haughty after I generously saved him from failing charms. I had to listen all day to Ginny going on and on about how nice and sweet and cute and sexy and how he just acts that way because he has to and how his father makes him and how smart and cool and experienced and sophisticated and how golden his hair is and how blue his eyes are and how good he smells and frankly I can't see any of this. I mean the boy sitting next to me who has his head in his face looked like a baby. A sexy baby but... wait what did I just write. Maybe I should delete it. No that would be unfair. It was what I was thinking at the time so anyway back to the story.  
  
I sat there for what seemed like another year while my companion stood pacing. "Could you stop pacing?!" I asked. Just then I noticed the cabinet right above the bed. Before he could snap back at me I stood up and opened it. Inside were two little shot glasses and a BIG battle of rum. Draco came over and pored himself a glass. He drained it in all one shoot. "1956" he muttered. "You know you wine" I said trying to get some conversation in. "Yeah" he said filling another glass "my father had me drinking by the time I was 10" He gave me the glass and I took it, not certain what to do. I had never drunk before. Sensing Draco's eyes on me I drained the glass. The wine sure was strong. I was feeling its affect already. I sat down on the floor and Draco sat down beside me. He was on his 3rd glass and he removed my glass from my hand. He pored me another glass. Now that I was half way drunk I started a conversation.  
  
"Why haven't your goons come looking for you yet?"  
  
"The same could be asked of you, Granger." I hiccupped. "If you must know Crabbe and Goyle don't really care about me. Nobody ever did."  
  
"I'm sure your mother loves you"  
  
"No. My father has had her under the Imperious curse for as long as I can remember. I'm not even sure she remembers what love is." Even in my drunken state I still felt bad for him. I looked at his face and for once I could see what he was really feeling. It was like a door opening up. He looked like he was about to cry too. Even if he is a bastard, I thought. Every body deserves to be loved.  
  
"your father must love you then"  
  
"yeah" scoffed Draco "he loves me so much he beats me" Draco lifted up his shirt and showed me the deep purple scars and bruises on his pale white skin. "He starves me and hits me and does every curse imaginable, without mercy." Tears almost spilled out from under his eyes but he held them fast. "Nobody ever gave a damn about me." And he pored himself another glass. I was crying now. Tears slowly rolling down my cheeks. I thought of all the times I thought my life was unfair and realized that this man, who we always made fun of, had the true unfair life.  
  
"I've never had a friend." I snuggled up against him and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. It must have been the wine but still. I felt I had to be the one to make him better.  
  
"It's ok." I whispered. And then I fell asleep. While Draco drank more and more brandy.  
  
More coming soon. I figured this was long enough but I will update soon. And I hope I didn't make Draco too OOC because I know somebody will complain about that so, just to clear a few things up... they are DRUNK! So Draco is the real him not the snobby and mean person he pretends to be. No flames please. Thanx for the awesome reviews. 


	3. how to care, draco's POV

Hey it's me again. Hope you enjoy the story! And I would love 15 reviews but I hate authors who refuse to update if they don't get a certain amount of reviewers so do what you wish. Good. Bad. Questions. Comments. Just review. And I might be moving. WAAAAAHHHHHHH. I love my house and I don't know how I would survive without my friends. My mom might not get another job but please keep me in your prayers and whatever other religion you believe in, just please beg your god at Church or temple or where ever you go to worship that I don't move. PLEASE! I think I'd commit suicide before I move again. No joke. Now on a happier note this is going to be told in Draco's POV, just to jazz things up a bit.  
  
THE PRIVATE JOURNAL OF DRACO MALFOY  
  
DO NOT READ  
  
IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT READING THIS I WILL BLOW YOU TO PIECES.  
  
Thank god dear old Dad thinks I'm writing my death eaters speech. He would blow ME to pieces if he knew that I was writing in a journal about a mudblood. Or what I thought about the latest episode of Smallville. I mean on the outside I'm mean, tough and total bad boy stud, Draco Malfoy but on the inside I'm just as happy reciting poetry then going on muggle raids. I just don't get the same rush that I get from an especially exciting match of Quidditch. I've also been around the block a couple of times but no girl ever gave me a rush or anything remotely interesting, no matter how pretty they are. I guess what I'm trying to say is I've never been in love before. I mean my own damn parents never loved me so why should I give anybody else the courtesy of being loved. I mean there are other things out there besides love right? What is going on with me? I never even thought about love until before a couple of hours ago. I never told anybody about what really goes on with me until a couple of hours ago. I never felt this way until a couple of hours ago. No body ever cared until a couple of hours ago.  
  
I sat on the floor with Granger's head in my lap. She had obviously never gotten drunk before. While me on the other hand have been getting drunk since age 12. We had been down in this room for at least 2 hours and I had finally stopped drinking. I picked Granger up and carried her to the bed. I was beginning to feel a bit tired myself and laid down next to her. With the moonlight streaming in on her face she really didn't look that bad. For a mudblood I mean. Was I about to say she looked beautiful? Ok maybe she did but she definitely was not my type. I usually go for blonds with blue eyes and curvy petite figures. You know the damsel in distress types. Granger was anything but a damsel in distress. She was a bossy, brown haired, chocolate eyed, average bodied mudblood. A mudblood who cared. Then I reasoned with myself. She was drunk so she was not herself. And neither was I and in reality I would have never spilled my guts to a mudblood anyway. But what is blood? I mean is it not just a liquid that is flowing through our veins. Why do some have thou blood tainted and never know what it is like to feel a life of pureness. There I go again. rambling on in my poetic forms. It's just a stupid poem. It is taking up valuable space in my dairy and therefore I should erase it. But I can't. As much as I want that poem to be out of sight out of mind I know now that I have put it down on paper that it will be there forever. Always stuck in the back of my mind and nagging at me. So I shall leave the poem where it is.  
  
Back to the story. We must have sat on that bed for another good half an hour before I heard the voice I loathed come thought the wall. It was none other than pothead and his moronic sidekick Weasel. They were calling Granger's name and I guess one of them must have hit the candlestick because the next thing I knew those two monkeys came barreling in. When they saw me and Granger lying in bed together and to say the least they flipped out. First they just stood there dumbstruck and then I saw Weasely turn red in the face. He came running at me and by then I had become more sober. Potter went straight to Granger's side and held her hand. Weasely on the other hand came head butted me right in the stomach and demanded to know what had happened to "his hermione". Like she was his property or something. By then Potter had figured out that she had passed out by way of too much alcohol but I decided to play with there heads a bit. I sauntered out the door but thought of a new idea, turned around and said, "Oh and weasely, by the way, for a mudblood she's definitely good at it." Of course I was referring to getting drunk and it wasn't a bold faced lie. If they just happened to think something else, who am I to stop a teenage boy's mind from thinking its thoughts? I knew Granger wouldn't appreciate this but who was I to owe her any favors. What did she ever do for me? Oh never mind. I know I know you don't need to tell me. Subconsciously I'll never forget what she did for me. She was the only person who ever really thought twice and gave a damn enough about me to really care.  
  
Short Chappie I know but I don't feel well. Hope to be better tomorrow. Kinda fluffy but you have to understand that Draco has never been loved and nobody has ever cared about him. He was really touched by how Hermione listened and understood what was going on. He is going to find a friend in her after all. And of course Ginny is going to be pissed that they spent time together and once she hears Ron's perspective on what happened sparks are going to fly!  
  
Kisses and Bites,  
  
Juli 


End file.
